I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
