I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
