Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
