the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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