Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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