I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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