The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
