: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize