you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
