Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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