I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize