Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
