Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
