Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
