she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
