I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
