so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
