She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
