Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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