you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
