In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
