Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
