Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
