I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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