i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize