It's just like the Real World with babies
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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