can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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