It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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