lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Your dad touched me again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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