you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
