I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
