girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
