We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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