Too much gin, very little bucket
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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