If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize