if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
