She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
