smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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