Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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