I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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