You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
