is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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