He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
