She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
