Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
