mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
