I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
