maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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