Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
