Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
