my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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