he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
