ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have post one night stand depression
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize