Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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