hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
